Chapter 3 -A Mesmer and Two Revenants Walk Into A Bar

Prolaby Drunk Huzzah Fan Fic!

 

2 AM, Hoelbrak, Great Lodge

 

It was the time of night when patrons begin to wind down, stumbling from their chairs and stools and out into the blistering cold of the night to find a warm bed and possibly a body to share it with. It was on such a night that we find a slick tongued and swift fingered mesmer leaning in towards a young pretty girl with sparkling eyes as she giggled into his ear. He nodded before gesturing for his drink to be refilled.

 

“Tell me another one Doctor,” she twittered, touching his arm.

 

“Alright, alright, just promise you’ll do another shot with me if I do,” Doctor Mezmer winked, as a new round of drinks was placed in front of them.

 

“One more can’t hurt!” The girl responded, taking a sip of her stout, thick and dark and leaving a foamy residue around her pursed lips. It was obvious she’d had enough, but that wouldn’t stop the Doctor. He had plans and she was crucial to them.

 

“Ok, so why shouldn’t you drink with ghosts?” Mezmer asked before taking a deep swig of his beer. “They can’t hold their boos!”

 

The girl erupted with laughter as she leaned closer to him and touched him again. She gasped as her hands slid right through his arm and slapped onto the bartop.

 

“Wait, are you a ghost? What?!” She screamed and pushed back, knocking her stool over and sending her tumbling to the ground with a loud crash.

 

Her face stretched into a look of horror and dismay as the body of the man she had just been talking to burst into a cloud of butterflies. As she screeched and garnered the attention of the bartender and the few remaining patrons, a shadowy figure skulked over to the door leading to the wine storage. It slipped inside while everyone tried to figure out what had just happened.

 

“Mission Accomplished,” Mesmer grinned, surveying the wine selection. “A few of these will fetch a nice price.”

 

He began to grab a few of the bottles from the uppermost shelves, obviously the most valuable. He was finishing up when he heard the door open behind him.

 

“What are you doing in here you filthy mesmer!!!” The bartender screamed, pitching a thick metal stein directly at his head.

 

“Hey! I just took a few!” He ducked quickly out of the way of the projectile and grabbed his bag heavy with wine bottles. “See ya!”

 

He laughed as he poofed out of existence, or so it seemed. The bartender growled as he felt the space around him disturbed. He had seen these tricks before and he was ready.

 

“REVEAL!” He boomed, slamming a talisman into the palm of his hand.

 

Suddenly, Mezmer reappeared, a few feet away dashing for the exit. Unfortunately, he wasn’t going to make it as a few armed men were running right at him calling him a thief and demanding that he stop what he was doing. His eyes lit up, this was what he lived for. He led them around the lodge, dodging between chairs and sliding under tables. They slammed their weapons at him, leaving only broken plates and upset customers in their wake. Mezmer was a slippery man indeed and had made them run three circles around the large room before he had enough and decided to make his exit.

 

“Bye idiots! It was fun!” He smirked, readying himself to  create a clone to take whatever beating they had for him so he could slip away unharmed. He backed up in a corner, his confidence was high and he was sure that they would never catch him. He readied himself, his body vibrating and disrupting the air around him. After a few seconds he knew something was definitely wrong.

 

“Shit,” Mezmer mumbled, dropping the bag of wine and pulling out his focus, a string of bells on a string, and tried again. He shook the bells and his shoulders dropped. The normal buzz of power in his fingertips was gone. His body felt heavy and he wasn’t able to breath. “What’s… going… on…”

 

He fell to the ground as the guards descended.

 

“Gotcha!” The bartender said with a smug face. He had used another talisman to immobilize him and render him powerless.

 

Dr Mezmer frowned, desperately trying to think of a way out. He was too delicate of a soul to survive prison and definitely not sturdy enough to escape the beating he was about to get with his pretty face in tact. He was usually able to get out of any situation, carefully planning and casing his marks for weeks. He wasn’t a traditional thief, but he liked to use the skills he learned to line his pockets and completely frustrate everyone around him. He hadn’t anticipated anyone in this place knowing how to handle his gifts and now he was going to pay

 

“That’s him!!!” Screeched the woman who had been talking to his clone just a while before.

 

“Did you just assault my wife?!” A man boomed, moving in front of her with fire in his eyes. He was a barrel chested Norn with arms the size of tree trunks and fists as big as a human skull.

 

“He did! He tried to get me drunk, baby! Get him!” The woman screamed, obviously upset over the deception that had been pulled on her. It didn’t matter that she had left her husband on the other end of the lodge to find someone new to talk to and had only run back to him when she had felt her pride bruised by Mezmer’s illusion.

 

Her husband roared and raged forward, ready to do maximum damage.

 

Meanwhile, across the room, a tiny asuran smacked his lips and opened his eyes. The ruckus has stirred him from a sweet nap and he was more than a little annoyed. He watched as Mezmer fell to the ground choking, turning purple and grabbing at his throat. Guards, obviously ready to rough him up, were approaching, not caring that he couldn’t fight back. Before they could get close enough, the angered husband was on top of him, picking him up like a ragdoll. Mezmer, a human, was like a child to the massive Norn and it seemed he was about to be taught a lesson for what he had done.

 

“Well that’s not very fair,” the Asuran, known as Claud to his friends, said with a frown. “I’m really too tired for this…”

 

He groaned and stood up anyway, just as Mezmer’s body went flying into the wall and fell to a heap on the floor. The guards were ready for their turn when a wild screech filled the room and Claudius leapt through the air slamming his hammer, a brilliant glowing beast of a weapon bigger than his entire body, right in the middle of the group of attackers and sending them flying to the ground stunned and leaking blood from various wounds that ripped into their bodies.

 

Claudius lifted his hammer again and ran towards Mezmer’s limp body.

 

“Wake up you fool! We gotta run!” Claudius slapped at Mezmer’s face. Drool slipped from his mouth as he woke up.

 

“Sshluuup,” He slurped the saliva back into his lips and shook his head a little “What happened? What’s going on?”

 

“WE HAVE TO GO NOW!”

 

Claudius looked back at the destruction he had caused. Three of the guards and the husband were slowly getting to their feet, not as deterred by the multiple cuts and bruises as they should have been.

 

“I can’t… I can’t really move,” Mezmer said anxiously, trying to move his arms and legs but unable to. “They immobilized me! Quick! Get my focus!”

 

He flicked his head towards the area where he had dropped his tool before the immobilization had kicked in. Claudius saw it but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get to it and protect the helpless man at the same time.

 

“I got it!” A voice called out. A norn, adorned in bright pink with a flowing red beard, jumped up from the table he had been sitting at. He had watched the chase with amusement but it would seem like the fun was over. “These assholes are just a bunch of nerds!”

 

He lept over a table and scooped up the bells. They tinkled melodically as he tossed them over to Mezmer who slowly picked them up. His body felt like it weighed a ton and every moment was slow and deliberate. The Norn knew that he needed to fight, so he grabbed his own weapon, a silver and gold hammer that lit up with an inner light as soon as he picked it up.  

 

A commotion on the stairs signaled that the next wave was arriving. Claudius stood up at the sound. His short pointy ears twitched a little in anticipation of the fight.

 

“You better get your shit together or we’re fucked,” Claudius said. “Get that immobilization off and we’ll fight our way out, we’ll cover you until then.”

 

Claudius moved next to the Norn that had come to their aid.

 

“Hey… you a rev?’ he asked. He recognized his stance and the strange glow of light around him, showing that he was connected to the mists.

 

“Yeah bro! You too?” the stranger replied

 

“Yeah… it’s hammer smashin time,” Claudius grinned, his furry face twisting into a blood thirsty grimace. He grabbed a half empty mug abandoned on a table and chugged it, wiggling with visible excitement. “Let’s do this!”

 

“Yes bro! Let’s do it!”

 

“You know it! I’m Claud!”

 

“Call me Rocket, lets kick some ass!”

 

They both readied for the fight, a strange pair indeed, Claudius barely reaching the norns knee in height but matching him in ferocity as they roared and rushed forward, swinging their massive hammers with easy and obvious joy.

 

The first guard to reach them went flying backwards as Rocket’s  hammer connected squarely with his chest. Claudius took his lead and did a flip through the air, letting his hammers weight take him down with a crash, sending the angry husband and two more guards stumbling back. This only served to make them more mad as they pulled out swords, maces, and hammers of their own and rushed forward.

 

What happened next was a mix of blows, blood, broken bones, and screams of adrenaline fueled aggression. Patrons of the lodge scurried to the sidelines, many of them cheering on this welcomed bit of entertainment. Claudius took a bad hit from the hilt of a sword and was kicked up into the air and slammed with a hammer that sent him flying like a baseball into the back of the bar. Bottles crashed and showered him with alcohol and glass. He shook his head, blood leaking from his temple. It splattered around him and he snarled, his sharp teeth crimson from his wounds. He grabbed one of the broken bottles, still half full with amber liquid and began to drink, each swallow seemed to rejuvenate him until his gruff growl raged and he jumped over the bar and back into the fray.

 

Rocket was holding his own even as a sword slashed through his chest peeling back several layers of his armor which was made of plates of hardened leather. He stepped back and bellowed with a strange sort of glee. Suddenly his body was enveloped in light as he channeled the mists and brought forth the power and rush of Jalis, the legendary dwarf.

 

“Ironhammer is ready to strike!!!” The misty form of the dwarf rose up towards the ceiling, booming his introduction and surging his power into Rocket’s waiting body. He grinned cracking his neck as he felt the wounds along his body heal and his power rise once again.  

 

“Let’s finish thiiiiis!” He screamed, rushing in just as Claudius leapt over the bar and channeled his own mist power, this time of the assassin Tagachi. He pulled out his sword and darted forward, his tiny body moving so fast it couldn’t be seen. Slashing and stabbing every enemy he could reach, his black furry body bounded in a graceful series of jumps and flips as he sent them falling to the ground in fountains of their own pulsing life blood.

 

He flipped backwards with a flourish, stowing his sword and grabbing another discarded drink sending it directly into his throat. He felt alive and the power flowing through him craved even more blood of his enemies. Without missing a beat, Rocket pulled up to finish them off, pounding their bodies prone into the ground, ensuring that they wouldn’t be able to move any time soon.

 

Both of them slapped a quick high five as yet another wave of guards rushed upstairs.

 

“Hammer, bro?” Claudius called out, swinging his hefty weapon over his head.

 

“YES! HAMMER BRO!!” Rocket responded jovially. He too felt the rush for blood and nothing could stop him.

 

It was almost comical the way they bashed through the ten men that came rushing into the fight. Their weapons swung with the power of the mists fueled by their own love of the battle. Bodies hit the floor with groans and crimson splashes and soon the two were left slamming down their weapons into any head that dared to lift from the ground, like a bloody game of whack a mole.

 

“NICE WORK, BRO!” Rocket screamed from across the room as he slammed his weapon down onto the disgruntled husbands head, rendering him finally unconscious. Rocket’s face and beard were soaked in blood making him look like an insane creature that had just devoured its prey.

 

“Same!” Claudius called back with his evil little grin. Rocket’s gruesome bloody look wasn’t a deterrent, it was a badge of honor.

 

Just then Mezmer laughed.

 

“That was a tricky one, not like the normal immobs,” He commented as he stood up and reached for his bag again. “Good fighting guys, but it’s time we took our leave.”

 

Mezmer gestured just as a troop of twenty fresh guards rushed into the room. The alarm had been sounded and there was sure to be a lot more on the way. They had caused quite a stir and the Norns of Hoelbrak were not amused. People began to to scatter, clattering over the bannisters and out of the windows to escape the second story of the lodge. The guards were surely not going to be happy being stirred from their sleep and they would probably bash heads in first and ask questions later.

 

For the three new friends, their escape seemed a lot less likely. They were cornered and their only obvious escape was straight through the new combatants. Rocket and Claudius were bleeding from numerous locations and their powers were depleted, the mists retreating back and leaving them in rough shape.

 

“I always wanted to see the inside of a Norn jail cell… “ Claudius laughed, obviously still a bit touched by the alcohol he kept consuming, even then reaching for another broken bottle to finish off what was left.

 

“I’ve seen ‘em, it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. They won’t take me without a fight!” Rocket snarled, clearly ready to fight until his body refused to move any longer.

 

“I got this guys, don’t worry,” Mezmer said, flipping his hands palm up and watching the sparks of energy return. “I got this!”

 

Mezmer focused and once again the air around him began to distort. He reached up in the air as if to pluck something from the empty space and suddenly he entire room went dark and a wave of energy pulsed outwards from his body. The guards, rushing right towards him stopped. They quickly  lit torches to search the area, waving them right in front of him but not noticing him at all.

 

“What happened! Where did they go!” One of the guards raged.

 

“Fucking Mesmers and their damn magic! Let’s cut them off at the door, they can’t get far!” Another screamed, turning to run back to where they had come from. “You, stay here and guard the windows. These assholes won’t get away!”

 

“What is happening? How can I see you and they can’t? And why can’t they see me?!” Claudius whispered, stumbling over to where Mezmer was standing. The guards were staring right at them and not reacting at all.

 

“It’s called mass invis my friend and we have about 15 seconds to get the fuck out of here before we’re toast,” Mezmer explained in a low voice trying to assess the best way to exit the building. It would seem that they had all the doors covered, it was going to be virtually impossible.

 

“Can you do it again?” Rocket asked, grouping up with them, an amused look on his face. His skin was tingling and he felt like the air around him was moving in a strange holding pattern around his body, as if he had his own personal breeze that followed the curves of his form.

 

“Not for a while, this is powerful magic and I need some time before I can use it again… we have to move now! Get into the wine room, we can figure it out from there.”

 

“That’s basically a dead end! Are you crazy? They’re gonna find us!” Claudius protested. “I say we smash those four by the windows and jump.”

 

“I don’t think we can smash them,” Rocket chimed in. “Did you see their armor? It’s magic and they’re not gonna go down easy, we need to recover first, then maybe…”

 

So it was decided, just as the invisibility wore off, they slipped into the dark room and closed the door behind them.

 

“Help me move some of these,” Mezmer said, shoving one of the smaller wine shelves in front of the door.

 

“Well that’ll never work,” A female voice said from behind them. They all spun around, whipping out their weapons ready to fight. It was one of the kitchen workers, her apron splattered with sauces and grease from cooking. Her bright pink hair was pulled up in a ponytail and her face was nothing short of amused.

 

“Who are you?!” Mezmer demanded, pulling out his focus, ready to send clones to defend them.

 

“It doesn’t matter, I can get you out, follow me,” Arey gestured them towards the dimly lit back of the room. “There’s another door into the kitchen here. They won’t check there until last, it’s really your only chance.”

 

With no other options, they had to trust this woman. It wasn’t clear why she would help them at all, but they decided to trust her. They followed her through a small almost hidden door and down a winding staircase that spilled out into the kitchen. The room, usually bustling with people at all hours of the day and night was quiet and almost empty. Most of the workers had heard the commotion and gone to check it out leaving a few older women who stood with huge paddles stirring vats of breakfast porridge for the soldiers who would arrive later that morning. They didn’t even turn around as the group rushed through the room towards one of the doors leading outside behind the lodge.

 

The sky was a deep black splashed with stars. Clouds criss crossed in front of the moon, a storm rumbling inside them ready to break. It was a bitter kind of cold that made it hard to move, but they pushed through it into the forest to escape the guards who were securing a perimeter and would close in on them quickly if they weren’t fast enough.

 

“This is as far as I go,” Arey said as soon as the voices of the guards had faded. “They’ll notice me missing. You shouldn’t come back here for a while, you really made them mad and that husband you disrespected has close ties with Whitebear, so he won’t just drop it. He’ll make sure you’re hunted.”

 

“Understood,” Claudius saluted the woman who had helped them. “It’s time I visited my mother in Rata Sum. But I really  need to know your name so I can thank you properly. It’s just polite.”

 

Arey laughed.

 

“Asurans are so weird!” She remarked playfully. “Well I’m Arey and you’re welcome. It’s the least I could do, they were overreacting to say the least. Plus, I like to stick it to those guards every chance I get.”

 

“Numerous platitudes to you Arey, you are truly a friend. You may call me Claudius and this is my other new friend Rocket!” Claudius said.

 

“Glad I could help you guys, I can see you’re good people… even if you were trying to steal…Speaking of, what’s your name thief?”

 

Everyone laughed a little and naturally looked over at Mezmer. It seemed only fair he share some of his haul with them. Oddly, the thin boned man was simply staring off into space not paying much attention to them at all.

 

“What the…” Rocket said as the body dispersed into a cloud of fluttering wings. “Fucking butterflies…”

 

They all looked around to see where he had gone, his clone obviously deployed to cloak his escape.

 

“I’ll pay you back one day!!!” A voice said from further into the trees. Doctor Mezmer wasn’t one to waste time when his life was on the line.

 

“How will you even find me? I don’t even know your name!” Arey called back, curious.

 

“I have my ways! You’ll know me when you see me!” Mezmer called out before his shadow completely disappeared in a wave of magic.

 

“Well, that’s one way to get out of sharing,” Rocket chuckled. “Come on Claud, I have a friend in the Wolf lodge that’ll take care of us. We’ll claim self defense. Better than waiting for them to catch us and rough us up. Plus, my balls are turning into frozen grapes out here.”

 

They all shuffled as the cold air started to press in on them.

 

“Thank you again Arey, we’ll pay you back one day!” Claudius bowed, swung his hammer onto his back, and followed Rocket deeper into the forest.

 

Arey smiled after them. It had felt good to help them get away. She wasn’t sure how or why, but she knew she’d see them again and she looked forward to it.

 


*Credits: Photo from Google Search Results
*Photo Edits and Written By Momo